Roots of Economic Crisis Uncovered

In a stunning study released in the journal Economy, the roots of the current economic crisis have been examined. 14 economists, including Nobel Prize Winner Herman Senserman, traced lines of evidence in the private sector, public sector, international trade, globalization, microeconomics, macroeconomics, and currency markets.

Using sophisticated models based on multi-dimensional diffusion equations and group theory, the authors traced the roots of the current crisis to a microloan given to Dubuque, Iowa seventh grader Timmy Harrinor by his Aunt Sissy Harrinor.

The younger Harrinor could not repay the loan of $5, despite the generous terms and promises by the elder Harrinor that mowing the lawn would suffice as repayment. The unpaid debt was assumed by S. Harrinor’s creditors during her divorce and subsequent bankruptcy proceedings.

The author’s of the study state that this was where their modeling software really performed well. “The flux coefficient was spot on,” said Senserman. “This allowed us to pinpoint the initial values for the diffusion kernel. Plotting this on a regression map of the Midwest led us right to young Mr. Harrinor.”

The loan was bundled with other securities, including a car loan and a pawned Sony Playstation. This instrument, although small, caused the local Iowa Bank Trust to default on interest payments made to its sister city in Iceland.

The diffusion/group theory model showed the importance of chaotic effects on the global financial system.

##Dubuque, Iowa

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